That was a long time to between updates wasn’t it???
I have just been so BUSY with life!
From career decisions being made to finally getting decent, liveable hours at work, I haven’t had much time to be able to sit down and update The Virgin Chronicles so I thought that I would provide you with an update as to what is happening in my virginity journey and currently where I am at.
I am feeling torn.
It seems that I have come to a complete standstill in my virginal journey and now I am starting to question everything about my original plans as to how I even wanted to lose my virginity in the first place?!
I will say though since last time posting a TVC chapter on here I have come reached the point in my life that my self confidence and self esteem has never been at a higher point than what it is now!
The confidence in myself sexually?
and it is honestly refreshing.
After spending majority of my life hating myself: my body, my weight, my skin colour, my face etc.
I’ve finally gotten to that place where I truly believe that……….man, I am BEAUTIFUL!
I used to avoid mirrors throughout my childhood especially when I hit puberty but now just try and stop me!
I don’t even care if I sound big headed anymore it’s great to realise your own beauty, personality and body (sort of) is banging.
Honestly you should try loving yourself guys, it’s great.
Give it a go!
The only thing that is stopping me from fully loving myself 100% (would say I’m that about 90% now) is just my weight.
I’m not obese or anything! I just have more body fat than I would care to have on my frame. Combined with being a pretty petite person, height wise (I’m 5’1 but look 4’11 without shoes), I could definitely do with losing a couple of pounds or even a stone.
I’m not going to lie, I have a great starting shape for my body if I am being honest.
It curves out in all the right places, I have big boobs, a decent to what people would consider ‘big’ sized ass.
Kind of like a mixture between a apple shape and pear shape body type.
All I’m really waiting for is that moment to hit me when I just start to take dieting and exercising seriously and I don’t stop till hit my target body weight or look.
I hope I get that feeling soon!
I would love to appear physically healthier to be honest.
It hasn’t happened yet but when it does and I work hard enough to get the desired body that I want. I know I’ll finally be at a 100%.
With all that being said, I just don’t feel like I am doing enough to get any closer to losing my virginity as I was when I started this blog
That’s why I put that I reached a standstill.
With less that four months to go before I turn 21, I still haven’t really made ANY headway into gaining some sexual experience let alone trying to lose my virginity to a complete and utter random stranger.
It’s time that I start to make a real effort in this journey.
Maybe I should at least consider trying some dating apps or a hookup app like Tinder.
All I really need after all is one dirty, fun hookup and those that app would definitely help my cause.
What do you guys think of Tinder by the way?
I want honest opinions.
Do you think it would actually help me or would I be better off doing it the way I originally planned to?
It’s not entirely all my fault as to why I haven’t been socialising with men.
An extreme lack of funds due to being in a job role where all my hours have been cut doesn’t exactly help my noble cause but with less than four months to go before I turn 21 (eep!), I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to start putting some serious graft into getting some numbers at the very least if I don’t want to be a 25 year old virgin.
Which at this rate there is a very good chance of that happening.
I just don’t know what to do.
I refuse to go with out no money in my pocket just to try and attempt to chat up men but if I am being honest with myself, I should probably be finding a few more opportunities to go out instead of becoming more and more of a homebody.
What is your opinions on one night stands or casual sex?
One of my plans of action this year was to create a little black book of reliable numbers that I call upon if I have an itch that needs scratching.
I wanted/want to become a sex goddess but that seems to be looking more unrealistic as each weekend passes me by.
I just want to experience sex honestly so a one night stand or something casual appeals to me.
On the other hand though, I am surrounded by a lot of loved up couples at the moment who seem to genuinely happy being with their significant others on a long term basis.
I feel like I am missing out on the chance to experience that being so hellbent on being single so maybe I should completely close myself off to the idea of being in a relationship?
I never have believed in the idea of some stranger being ‘The One’.
Monogamy to me personally just doesn’t seem to be a part of human nature.
I’m not saying that I would never cheat on someone because I wouldn’t but committing myself to only one person is a huge deal.
I am just tired of being a virgin ya’ll.
I want to be able to participate in conversations about sex without feeling sheepish and having to make bullshit up to be interesting.
It seems as though I haven’t really though the process of losing my virginity through and how much work I would be having to put in.
I need to stop being so lazy and get my ass into gear.
Why all these questions have started coming into to my head about something I was so clear about I couldn’t tell you.
Perhaps I am having yet another midlife crisis or better yet maybe it was stupid to try and put a time limit on my losing my virginity in the first place and should just let nature take its due course?
What I do know is that with my earning being better for the next few months, it is time for me to drag my sexy ass out and socialise!
No time wasting any more! I need to test out my new found confidence and see where it leads me!
Sorry for it being such a late update, hopefully it wont be too long till the next chapter.
I’ll stop being so lazy guys I promise!
97 days left.